I know the feeling. 

It’s a cloud. A cold fog running through your head and heart. 

The exhaustion is overwhelming. 

Each step takes effort. 

Every thought is strained and labored. 

It’s that feeling when you’re in the thick of performances. 

Rehearsals are done. Tech is completed. 

The show is locked in and you and every one in the cast and crew is humming like a well tuned high performance Autobahn running machine. 

And yet there’s still that cloud, that fog. 

The show is going to end. Soon, you will say the lines for the final time. The last sounds of applause will come, the final bow will be taken. You’ll take your character off and dress in your everyday one. 

I know the feeling. 

Because I’m going through it now. There are still two weeks of performances left. Two weeks to speak the words and walk the boards.

I’m filled with gratitude and sadness. Thanksgiving and dread. Happiness and heartbreak. 

I know the feeling. 

Because I’ve been there before. There were other shows. Other projects. Other characters. Other family born not from a womb, but from the labor and delivery of a love of rehearsals to performances. All created and raised into maturity and given unto the world. 

I know the feeling. 

Because I also know the feeling that there will be others. 

It’s okay to feel the fog right now. Because there will be a clearing. It’s okay to feel the exhaustion. There will be recovery. There will be light. 

There will be another show, another film, another workshop or reading. There will be, because I believe and work. 

And because I have a feeling.